Shamp’s Corner: The Real ‘Red Dawn’ is in the Comments Section

Alright, let me come clean now, before the government taps my mic: I’ve been watching Red Dawn again.

Not the remake—nah, the OG. 1984. Patrick Swayze. Wolverines.

I’m not saying Russian paratroopers are about to drop out of the sky and start a firefight at Ojos Locos… but I’m also not not saying that things are feeling a little too much like Red Dawn lately.

The Real Invasion Already Happened

No one parachuted into Chula Vista. They didn’t have to. They just hacked us. Russia hit us with memes, China slid into our phones, and half the country willingly downloaded their own surveillance spyware with an app that tells you which Kardashian you are… (I’m Khloé, by the way 💅)

This isn’t the old-school Cold War anymore. This is psychological warfare, algorithm battles, and culture wars waged anonymously in the comments section.

We Don’t Need an Enemy When We’re Fighting Each Other

You ever notice how divided we are? Not just Dodgers vs. Padres divided. I mean civil-war-in-the-comments-section divided.  Americans distrust each other more than they distrust foreign powers. We’ve reached a point where the real enemy isn’t wearing a uniform—it’s rocking a bumper sticker you don’t agree with.

And somehow, we’re still blaming immigrants and teachers for everything. The Fuck 🤨

Is This How the Fall of Rome Felt?

I’m not saying the U.S. is falling apart like a Mazapán in my 10-year-old’s hands. But it ain’t feeling too sturdy. People have lost trust in the system, in each other, in reality. Eggs cost $9. Gas ain’t far behind. Credit card rates feel like mafia collections. And we’ve got billionaires beefing on Twitter like net bangers.

Tell me that’s not a movie waiting to happen.

So, What’s the Move?

Look… I’m not building a bunker. Yet. But I am watching. Listening. Laughing. Talking to my people. Sharing stories. Breaking bread instead of breaking news alerts.

Because maybe the best way to fight this slow-motion Red Dawn isn’t with guns and grit—it’s with CommUNITY. Familia. Culture. Laughter.

And yeah, maybe a little paranoia sprinkled on top for flavor.

Now excuse me while I rewatch the original and shout “Wolverines!” into the void.